2 more days before you go...

Dear Blog...

And to me beloved too whom I am writing to,

As I sit here and face the fact of not been able to see you off on Thursday, my heart felt cold and emptied. My eyes are tired, eager to close but I sat here even more eagerly to see my love online so that both of us can try skyping. As it is my first time tying. My head is getting heavier and I am not able to type anymore... Night Blog... For my body.. I will still wait for your coming..

Thank you Abba Father...

For Him, In Him & Through Him only I live...
Luke Zachary

4 days before you go go

Dear Blog...

And to me beloved too whom I am writing to,

I thank you for the wonderful weekend I had with you... Even though time flies as we are together but I enjoyed every single moment with you. I would not trade anything for you, no condos, cars, money, Xbox360, I-touch, Mac book, PsP, Games, can compare with you. If I am even a chance to choose again, I would still choose you.

We are meant for one another, now and forever more...

Abba Father, I thank You for your gift of life. I thank You for your gift of love. I thank You for your gift partner... Amen...

For Him, In Him & Through Him only I live...
Luke Zachary

6 days before You Fly

Dear Blog...

And to me beloved too whom I am writing to,

As the day draws closer to an end, I realized that the days before you head to the states are getting closer too. 5 weeks is a little too long I suppose, thinking that I would be able to spend more "me time" and play XBOX360 but I soon figure out is it all incomplete without you.

Life without you is like a straw, it sucks...

Well just pop in here to say that I love you and that I hope you would remember to read my Blog every night over there yea? I will type as long as I am able to.

I love you...

Abba Father, I thank You for internet, Facebook, e-mails and blogs. That even Kat and I is 12hrs apart, we are not separated because of technology. Lord, would you keep her safe and sound this night... I love you Father...

Amen...

For Him, In Him & Through Him only I live...
Luke Zachary

1 Week before You Fly

Dear Blog...

And to me beloved too whom I am writing to,

I left for camp today knowing that there was 3waves today I thinking that I would be coming home late again. But as I enter my squadron , straight into the guard post to look at my crew and the flying schedule, I then realize it was not bad after all. For my crew there was only 1 wave and it would be back by 1pm. So as I do my calculation for what time I would be home, it should be not later then 4pm. but I was wrong. It came back at 1pm, I finished my work by 3, then spent the next few hours waiting for my PDS IC to sign the forms... And now I am... HOME...

As I struggle between resting at home or going to Fuji's house, many thoughts came to my mind. All I need was a affirmation of I must go, should go or need to go. But I have none, all I got was, you may, can, feel free to come. I then give myself excuses of not going, and then I asked God for a sign! that I should go. Yup he gave me one. Knowing that I have a photo shoot tomorrow and my turn out need to be neat and good. I then intend to polish my safety boots with the liquid polisher. The cap got stuck with the brush, so I pulled a little harder and guess what? The brush came out together with the cap and the black liquid splash onto the floor. Well I told Him, "guess you didn't want me go after all" But maybe it is despite of this I would still go is the right answer for Him, I still would choose not to attend.

After hearing so much sermons of having JOY, Another Spirit and so on. I still cannot seems to apply all that I have learn into it. Maybe I am too lazy to, maybe my environment does not allow me too, maybe the sermons are not practical in times like these anymore.

Air force has taken ever joy that I have. It has taken my time, my strength, my emotion, my mind, my heart and my soul too. Maybe I am place in the worst place now in my NS. Work 6days week, even though you are flying on next Wednesday but I got duty. Saturday suppose to go out with you, but now there is SPORTS CAR duty.

But in spite of all these, I sense that I love you and need you more. And more then ever. I really do not know how to face myself when you are gone for 5 weeks... You are my everything... You are... my life...

Abba Father, I am sorry for my lack of faith. In You. Many times I am foolish and asked you to show me signs so that I may believe you are still real to me, but I yet forget your hands that was guiding me through. You love that forever shining upon me and blessing that is continuously pouring out onto my cup. Yet my heart was harden and my eyes were shut. May You continue to be by our side this day and the days ahead... Amen...

For Him, In Him & Through Him only I live...
Luke Zachary

Count down to Dar Dar's USA trip

Dear Blog...

And to me beloved too whom I am writing to,

Remember yesterday when I receive a call? It was my squadron that call back because I fill it in wrongly, well... It isn't much a problem, it just been made worst by the IC. As I was calmly answering and replying to my friend who was on the line, I can clearly overhear the unpleasant background. I truly swallow even pride or dignity that I have yesterday on the phone.

There is no pride, glory or even honor in Air-force. It just a pile of deep dung for people to step in, we are required to work like regulars, but we are paid with peanuts. We are expected to work like we know everything, but when things happen we get scolding we are not worth a cent...

So much for having 'A HIGHER PURPOSE'... Ever since I am qualified, everyday I get scolding after scolding. Everyday I drag myself to work, I lost confidence, totally demoralize. The colours of my life seems to slowly fade off...

But waking up next to you, opening up my eyes to see you put back the colours of my life... You complete everything good that this world is not, you bring joy, pure joy into my life. A blessing from God that I would and could not be anymore grateful for. Thank You I can't imaging my life without you in the five weeks to come...

My next few blogs would be my blogs for you baby...

lOve...

Luke Zachary

Living in a world of my own...

Dear Blog...

Its been a year and four months since I wrote in you and in my

SERMONETTE...

Reason being that there is nothing much to write about any more. The voices of God vanished from my life, I no longer hear Him, see Him or even feel Him anymore, maybe it's my fault for not desiring Him, maybe it's my fault for not trying. But I am tired of running this senseless race, I am throwing my towel, walking away from the path He desired for me.

"Vanity of Vanities, all is Vanity"

~ Ecclesiastes 1: 2

Everything that is of this world is nothing but Vanity. I am a nobody but a passing wind, undesired, unnoticed person living in a world of his own delusion. Pretending that I make impact to someone, someday. Betraying my mind of thinking I touched and changed someone's life, but no claims, no affirmation... No remembrance, no trace of records I ever did. King of ministry? Sorry Brother, I am nothing but a passing wind. No legacy that I left behind, I am just a tool that was used and dispose by the very nature of creation.

I am leaving from my once called home...

Another reason that I do not blog. Cause no one ever care reading on them...

No prayer this time... Shalom to myself...

A really SICK dae...

Dear Blog...

Yesterday, I was feeling terrible... My whole body was aching, my head was really heavy and my breathing was straining. I was in a position that I thought I was going to die, but the thought that came to me was that if really my time is up and I am going to be called home, I would die in the arms I love. And that was what I did! I crawled for my bed to my bathroom, then from my house to KAP (King Albert Park) just to in on time to meet my beloved after her cell group. My journey there was tough. Many a time I felt that I would die on the bus, but when I reach KAP, I told myself that I am this close in seeing her, and even I use every single strength I have to climb that stairs I will. So I slowly, bit by bit, step by step make my way up the stairs and eventually sat down at a table where I could secretly look at her without her notice so that I would not disturb the cell. And I sat there for an hour.

Even siting there was hard cause I felt that breathing was difficult and my body was in pain. But I remained sited looking at her, soon one hour has pass and she called me. I told her I was at the table near her. Then I make my way towards her table, after dragging myself there, I greeted everyone there, as much as I wanted to look lively, I failed badly as my body was not helping much. Miko brought me a hot cup of Milo while asking me to look after myself. Then everyone in the cell group left and my dear and I went to cold storage to buy some medication and water for me. I actually wanted to go out as it was my off day but my dear insisted that I go home due to my fever.

My journey was a very tough one for Kat, as she tries to support me and carry my bag. She was asking why my bag was so heavy, I told her that I brought out admin stuff from camp as I cannot afford to slack even when I am sick. But soon I realised that I am in a terrible condition, and the bag that I brought in fact did nothing more then increasing the burden I am in now. I then somehow feels that I was a burden to her. But she gently hold me and make sure I am not feeling terrible in anyways. She then brought me home while I collapse on my bed.

She took a bowl of water and a towel and slowly wiping my body and forehead to cool down my temperature. Then I took medication and when back to sleep. Soon it was getting dark and I suddenly remembered that Kat has a party to go. When I asked her, she says that she cannot go to the party without worrying for me. She would rather stay to look after me. And she did...

She brought me dinner while I took a bath to cool myself down. After she came back and unpack the food, and place in front of me. I did not even eat 1/4 of it. I was feeling terrible and when back to sleep. While she cleans up and wash the bowl. I soon feel like throwing up and I rush to the toilet and throw up everything. Everything... Then my stomach start to have cramps and I was feeling terrible. As I crawl back to bed, I was gently been put back to sleep by Kat and soon she felt asleep too. I believed she was very tired as I was woken up by her snores (oops). Soon it was getting late and she has to home before her dad kill her. After opening the door for her, I went back to sleep.

Today I felt much better... ^.^ and I am going to church now before I am late... bye bye...

Abba Father, I thank You for your healing hands. But I truly thank you for the illness as well, when I see Your love through her. I sense that the fact that my illness was not the highlight of yesterday but Your love through her. I prayed Lord Father would you bless her in every ways and Lord... Make me the person who is deserving for her love Lord... As I seek Your face Lord, would you grant me peace in my heart, Father protect me today as I work... I ask that would you teach me Your ways that I may follow... Amen...

I really love you dear... I really do...

For Him, In Him & Through Him only I live...
Luke Zachary