Dear Blog,
I will have a break out on the topics that I will touch on...
1) Camps
1a) PCF
1b) NC
1c) Complete
2) Love life
3) Buddies
1a) Well PCF was a little different then the way we planned... our target was 30 people... we hit less then have after included the staff worker... We did not followed the timetable, everything was free flow, even worship! Well it was pretty interesting... The theme for the camp was "Me in the Big picture"... Mun Toh first started out teaching about how God's plan befall upon us, how magnificent is His will. Then the next day was Fuji teaching how our youth life can affect or change the society into the Big picture of God. But the lesson I brought home that day was neither of the teaching... I brought home something else, I realize that leadership hurts. There would be some point in time when even as leaders there would be quarrel and even miscommunication, but how we move on from there is what it really matters. It does not matter what was the topic, who was right or wrong, or even who started it first. But to look pass it and become friends again is tough but it is tougher to forget what has happen, even though we are alright now but the incident still haunts me until now...
1b) NC was even more interesting. As it was the first time I attended a camp without any games but having theory after theory, I dozen off a couple of time cause it was a bit dry. But over all it was still not bad. Maybe some of the teaching I could not fully accept but I respect him as someone who was given the authority to teach. The lesson I could bring home was the workshop Fuji taught (Well... I could have just hear it during CF). About reaching to the I pod generation...
The only thing I could bring home from Vinoth is that "Pastor should one day go up to the pulpit and say "I have nothing else to teach to you, unless you act upon what was taught last Sunday" then going up every Sunday teaching the church things that they would not do". And not to forget, it was the first time I went up the stage, facing 300 people and reading the Word of the Lord... ^.^ It was quite an experience...
1c) Complete... Coming in 1 week time... Well the committee is trying very hard to stick everything together in this short amount of time... Well... I told Fuji to form the committee in January but it was only form about 2 months ago during exam period. As more and more waves start crashing upon us, I prayed that may Ah Pa's grace fall upon us. As I look on the target of 80 people, I start to lose faith. As as Kat has said.. if we reach... if this and if that... my faith of reaching 60 could even be a problem... But nonetheless, I place my trust onto the hands of God...
2) It is coming to our 6th anniversary, and as I know back... Did I really make the right choice? Not that she is not the one... In every way she is and only is the one I love. Is just that I feel that I rush into relationship too soon. Well, I did not know her well enough, looking pass her flaws as they haunted me now and then (Not physical of course)... And how I failed times and again to be a good, responsible boy friend. Well, I love her for the love for God which now I wonder to myself, am I taking that love for God away from her? Well she seem thinking of me more that thinking of God. and even for myself, I have lost the passion as I first started out and well I hope that she would get me back on track. But instead she followed me along. I want her to feel that all she needs is God and not me, and the more when I ask her about this, the more her reason seems a bit off... Unless our relationship brings us closer to God, I believed we have failed to be a couple in Christ. Well many times and even in her mind (I heard from her) that giving up was a choice that pops up in our head. I feel that I need some time away to really see what went wrong to start the foundation again. But that is not possible... Throughout everything and even in the end if we did not make it... I would still say loving you was the a choice I never regret and never will...
well I have to see and pray for God strength in my life, as my doors start to open, the darker side of me will show but I pray that God would pour His mercy and love over us.
Now as each day draw closer, I hope that our love will be a pleasing living sacrifice to our Lord...
I love you baby dear...
3) I always believe that long lasting good friends are hard to find... It started off with 3 of us doing everything together, hanging out very most of the time. But as time moves much faster, we fell out of it. Slowly, we hardly talk... we hardly meet.. I believe I am at fault too, but tight schedule did not give me any flexibilities to meet up, but I am more willing to say OK when they call me out. I would cancel every event just to hang out with them... But now we hardly sit down and talk, we dun even see each other once in 2 weeks. I believe time has a better hold on us, and I always believe that there is a season in everything... The season for this relationship has come to a finale. It's time to move on... No looking back... No good byes... May the Lord bless you... my beloved buddies...
Abba Father, I thank You for today... I thank You for Your mercy and love. Even as I write this feelings I have, Lord would You still let Your spirit do Your work in my life... I ask Father this day that You will take on of me and use me according to Your pleasure... In Your name I asked... Amen...
